A Guide to Safety and Support for Newcomers Experiencing Domestic Violence

November is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It is a time to shine a light on a painful reality that thrives in the dark. If you are reading this and feeling unsafe in your own home, please know this: Your safety is a right, not a privilege.

Finding domestic violence support for immigrants can feel impossible when you are navigating a new country. The isolation is profound. But you are not alone, and help is available. This article provides a safe space to understand what abuse looks like, in all its forms, and offers guidance on finding a path to safety.

The “Invisible Walls” Facing Immigrant Families

For many newcomers, abuse isn’t just about physical violence. It is often held in place by “invisible walls,” barriers that make leaving feel dangerous or impossible.

Immigration Status as a Weapon: A common tactic of abuse is fear. An abuser may threaten to have you deported or separated from your children if you speak up. This is a tool of coercion. In Canada, your immigration status does not give anyone the right to hurt you.

The Silence of Isolation: When you are far from your mother, your siblings, and your lifelong friends, you lose your safety net. Abusers often increase this isolation by cutting off contact with your community or monitoring your calls.

Language and System Barriers: Not knowing how the Canadian legal system works, or not speaking English or French fluently, can be terrifying. You may fear that the police won’t understand you or that you will be blamed.

Recognizing Abuse: It’s Not Just Physical

Abuse wears many masks. It is important to recognize these signs, as they often escalate over time.

• Financial Abuse: This is a powerful form of control. It might look like:
  • Being denied the ability to have a bank account or a credit card.
  • Being forbidden from working or attending school.
  • Having your paycheck or government benefits taken away.
  • Being forced to account for every penny spent on groceries.
• Emotional & Psychological Abuse: This includes constant criticism, humiliation, gaslighting (making you doubt your own reality), and threats to harm pets or family members back home.
• Digital Abuse: Monitoring your text messages, social media, or tracking your location through your phone.
• For Elders: Abuse can manifest as financial theft by a family member, withholding medication, or neglect (ignoring basic needs like food or hygiene).
• For Men: Abuse often involves deep shame, psychological humiliation, and threats to “out” them or destroy their reputation in the community.
• For Children: Witnessing violence is a form of abuse that leaves lasting emotional wounds.

Safety Planning 101: Small Steps to Safety

If you are not ready to leave, you can still plan for safety. Here are actionable, non-alarming steps:

• Memorize a Number: Learn the phone number of a trusted friend or a helpline by heart, in case your phone is taken.
• The “Code Word”: Agree on a secret word or emoji with a friend or colleague. If you send it, they will know to call for help or come over.
• The Hidden Fund: If possible, try to set aside small amounts of cash in a safe place outside the home (e.g., inside a tampon box or with a trusted friend).
• Document Safekeeping: Keep photos or copies of important documents (passports, immigration papers, birth certificates) in a secure, digital location (like a hidden email account) or with a trusted person.

Finding Confidential Domestic Violence Support for Immigrants

You do not have to walk this path alone. There are specialized organizations ready to listen without judgment.

Crisis Lines (24/7 Support)

• Assaulted Women’s Helpline: 1-866-863-0511 (Free, 24/7, Multilingual)
• Talk Suicide Canada: 1-833-456-4566
• Shelter Safe: Visit www.sheltersafe.ca to find a safe place near you.

Specialized Support Services

• Ruth’s House: Providing shelter and support for women and families escaping domestic violence. Visit ruthshouse.ca
• Mandela House: Offering culturally responsive support and housing. Visit Mandela House
• Barbra Schlifer Commemorative Clinic: Offering legal, counselling, and interpretation services for women who have experienced violence. Visit schliferclinic.com
• Newcomer Women’s Services Toronto: Providing settlement services and support for immigrant women. Visit Newcomer Women’s Services Toronto

Important: Many services are confidential and available to everyone, regardless of your immigration status.

You Deserve Peace

Breaking the silence is the hardest step. But remember, seeking domestic violence support for immigrants is a sign of immense strength. You are valuable. Your life matters. Your safety is non-negotiable.